


A Well Apart

by palekwami (angstyfanboi)



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Minor Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Post-InuYasha, Sad, Sad Ending, author is angry at herself, i swear im-, kagome is angry, why did i write this omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 04:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20808311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstyfanboi/pseuds/palekwami
Summary: No amount of school pressure and forced dates with Hōjō could erase her memory of her first and only love.





	A Well Apart

Kagome wishes she could go back to three years ago, to when Inuyasha arrived at her side inside of the jewel, to when he took her within his protecting arms and kissed her with the passion of a thousand fires crashing between them, easing onto her skin with warm hope.

But she can’t, and she knows this despite not wanting to admit it out loud, as if reality would change itself upon her denial.

“Open, you stupid well, open!” Her throat is already sore, her knuckles bloody. It’s already night time and the cold swapping across her wet face is but a dull burning as she cries and screams and punches the rocky surface of the well with all her unwavering might. The anger she feels is consuming, engulfs her whole and completely, blossoming and growing inside of her chest like a heavy pressure she can never take away from crushing her tiny broken heart. And she fights back, she punches and kicks, but nothing ever takes her back to his arms. Her tears fall relentlessly, fiercely, wetting the dirt bellow and running down her pale, sunken, cheeks, down her neck, fading as they touch the fabric of her pajama, just like his presence fades, every night, a little more from her memory.

“I want to see him- LET ME SEE HIM DAMMIT!”

But nothing happens, no surge of energy surrounds her in blue light, pulls her body and soul to the place she learned to call her home. Her fingernails dig the gravel bellow and then go up to pull her hair in binging frustration and overwhelming anger. She can’t think of anything else, she can’t sleep, she can’t eat. She can no longer remember his voice, his face, the times they spent together, times she so dearly cherished, are now blemished by blurs of time and distance.

After the well closed, three years ago, Kagome wondered if it was a prank, a miscalculation. Maybe the jewel returned her to her home just so she could see her family after she cried for their sake inside of the jewel. Maybe Inuyasha was still waiting by her, on the other side, patiently to give her time with her family.

But soon the nightmare began, surely and persistently creating a hollow space inside of her.

Her purpose had been served and, as a well behaved and trained tool, Kagome returned to her dull life after freeing the jewel from its cursed existence. No amount of screaming or crying or punching her way through the well actually managed to return her back to Inuyasha. No amount of sleepless nights could break a sliver of empathy from Kami to attend her wishes. No amount of school pressure and forced dates with Hōjō could erase her memory of her first and only love.

And now, three years later, on the night of her graduation, Kagome feels her hopelessness catching up to her with the force of a thousand bricks being thrown at her. Nothing could have prepared her for the backlash of rage churning inside of her chest, all the pain, the hurt, the sadness, and shattered hope becoming larger, filling her pores and veins and every intake of breath into a flame ready to burst and burn everything in view. She feels it running wildly inside of her vessels, charging the air with electricity that hisses with anticipation as if something would ever happen.

“I want to see him…” Her scream dies in one last attempt, morphing into racketing sobs she can’t stop from heaving her backs and breaking through her pained throat, more and more tears soaking her cheeks, locks of brisk hair, her lips where he touched with his own, her pathetic fingertips she uses to cover her mouth— the same fingertips she used to fire arrow after arrow as if it could save her from this destiny.

“Let me see him…”

But there’s still no response. The silence and darkness surrounding her are not welcoming, but terrifying as the darkness and silence of the jewel was. But this time there’s not Inuyasha to save her. There’s no one to catch her, to comfort her, to love her and kiss her. She’s all alone, pained, breaking like she wasn’t broken enough already.

Her body cracks with pain and tension, her jaw hurts from being set in the same vice-like grip of blind fury. Her eyes burn so intensely more tears escape despite her will. And then she’s punching, gawking at the dirt, clawing her way back to the man she loves. Her nails break one after one, the ones who resist getting dull over time and then her fingertips are bleeding. Her knees shake from their kneeling position with the rocks digging onto the bristle skin covering the bone. But the bruises don’t feel enough, the blood doesn’t feel enough, the pain doesn’t feel enough. Nothing compensates the emptiness she feels, the rage, the longing to see him again, to have his soft and firm lips kiss her tears, to have her fingers between his silver locks. Nothing ever compensates the lack of his comforting presence.

“Kagome?”

At first, she thinks it’s Inuyasha, and hope blossoms within her chest, slowly unfolding her from the shock of hearing him so close to her. But then it withers, it crumbles and she’s left to cry once more, pathetically, weakly, _morbidly._ It’s just her mother, cooing her from above, not him, _never him_.

He will never return to her and she will never return to him. Slowly he too will forget of small details about her: her scent, her voice, her warmth, her softness. Then bigger ones: the shape of her eyes, the exact hue of her skin, the texture of her thick hair.

“I want to- I need to see him…” If her mother wasn’t standing as close as she is— or as close as she believes Kagome allows her to be— her murmurs would pass as sobs and nothing else, not as heartfelt pleadings. It breaks her heart but she can only imagine what Kagome is feeling, the burden within her, a growing black hole sucking the very light out of her.

Though it’s useless to comfort her. It’s not her arms she wishes around her, not her voice she wishes to hear, not her kisses she wishes to feel; and as much as it pains her not to be her rock, she can but accept her daughter’s feelings for the hanyō and his role in her life. A love that transcends through time and space. A love that can never be fulfilled or lived to the fullest.

“Come to bed.”

“No.”

Kagome doesn’t turn to her mother, doesn’t show the beads of tears glistening as liquid silver by the corners of her saddened, dull eyes. She doesn’t need to. They both know they’re there, a constant reminder of how they shine brighter now than her blue orbs that held so much light inside of them before. People often wonder where it went, the light, the girl whose smile could light an entire room, the positivity everyone could count on to make their days better. Now she’s a shell, a shadow. She could be dead, for all they see.

_“Please.”_

There’s a pause, a silence Kagome dreads as much as she dreads the darkness, as much as she dreads sleep— as she always finds herself locked, chained to nightmares she fails to leave, more often than not.

“I want to go back, mama.”

The old woman sighs and then sobs. Her tears cling to her eyelashes as she tries to keep them from succumbing to gravity. Kagome’s fist encounters firm earth once more, another ripple of pain jolting from the bloody knuckles up to her arm and weary wrist. Her throat enclosures with a knot that lifts itself from the bottom of her chest to the top of her neck, lodging itself to prevent oxygen from completely making its way both in and out. She can’t breathe, she can’t calm herself down and get up and, since she can’t have her requests completed, make sure her mother’s are.

She no longer cries, but _wails._ Ground shaking wails that echo and resonate from the tight walls of the well, up to the wooden shrine, wails she neither stops nor keeps down as they take over her frail body. Wails that swell and flow from her chest in agonizing screams and searing tears; her backs heave with each racketing sob, her chest becoming more and more constricted until she’s gapping for air, clawing her sore throat to allow her to breathe, pulling her hair, tossing and turning, because _how_ is she supposed to _live_ when she was a _tool_ to something she never even _agreed_ to be, a tool that fell in _love_ and is now forbidden to be by _his_ side?

Her mother gets down to her side, nearly trashing against a wall as Kagome’s body crashes onto hers immediately, clinging to her clothes dirtying them, pushing her face onto her chest for some support. She can’t do anything but hush her and caress her shaking backs as she whispers his name with utmost care and longing. Over and over again.

Kagome Higurashi is broken, and the only person able to mend her is 500 years back into the past, with no way of coming to meet her.

And if she knew what would happen once the jewel was purified, she sure as well would make everything in her willpower to prevent it.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I apologize for this but I had to do this. I'm so so sorry. This is so sad Alexa play despacito.


End file.
